My kind of suicidal ideation

I’ll never do it, really. But I have been preoccupied with thoughts of it a lot lately. I let my foot slip off the break pedal a little when I am waiting in traffic. It’s stupid but I keep thinking of driving into traffic. I was in a car accident once where my car spun out and I lost control. My coffee cup in the holder went flying, I went flying. I closed my eyes real tight and I screamed as the car flew into the air. I was alone in the car and it was dark and I was on the freeway.

I think I want to lose control like in that car accident. And I can’t stop thinking about it.

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