Last Wednesday I went to LWC for my bi weekly therapy appointment. As usual, 4pm on a Wednesday. I was looking forward to this session as I had new things to talk about. I needed to talk about. After some weeks of stagnation, I wanted to talk.
Checking in at the front desk, the receptionist has a horrified and concerned look on her face. “He doesn’t work here anymore.” I was crushed. In shock. Devastated. The receptionist was flustered and told me to wait so she could call someone I could talk to. I waited and a man came out, his replacement. He told me he was very busy and we could talk for a few minutes but then I had to go. I felt kind of numb and dumb. Honestly abandoned. I didn’t like this new man. His rushing me, my presence was a nuisance it seemed.
I still made an appointment for the following week.
I felt alone.
I question whether it is normal for me to feel so upset about losing my therapist. I am kind of angry. I feel like crying. Like something has been ripped from me and I get no say. It’s not my business where he went or why. But, where did he go, and why? Am I so insignificant that I can be left behind? I am grieving but is that OK? My heart feels a little heavy, but is that OK? Am I allowed to miss my therapist, or am I too attached?
I am hiding it. I am about to explode with tears.